Social Media Use: Finding Balance and Healthy Engagement

Social media has become an integral part of modern life, offering remarkable opportunities for connection, information sharing, and creative expression. However, the relationship most people have with social media exists in a delicate balance between positive and negative consequences. While we may strive to experience only the benefits—staying connected with friends and family, accessing information, building communities, or advancing our careers—the reality is that most users find themselves on a precipice, constantly at risk of tipping into problematic patterns of use.

When Social Media Becomes a Problem

For some individuals, the negative impact of social media becomes extreme and requires professional intervention. In these cases, the compulsive need to check notifications, scroll endlessly, or seek validation through likes and comments can mirror the patterns seen in alcohol and substance abuse, disordered eating, or gambling addiction. The dopamine-driven reward system that social media platforms are designed to exploit can create genuine dependency, affecting mental health, relationships, work performance, and overall quality of life.

Signs that social media use has become problematic may include:

• Spending significantly more time on platforms than intended
• Feeling anxious, irritable, or restless when unable to access social media
• Neglecting important responsibilities or relationships due to social media use
• Using social media as an escape from negative emotions or difficult situations
• Experiencing decreased self-esteem, increased anxiety, or depression related to social media consumption
• Sleep disruption due to late-night scrolling
• Difficulty concentrating on tasks without checking social media

Social Media’s Impact on Adults and Children

• Adults: Often, adults find that excessive social media use creates significant disruption in their most important relationships and responsibilities. Many adults experience distraction away from their marital relationships, with partners feeling neglected or competing for attention against a screen. The constant pull of social media leads to incomplete work tasks at home, procrastination on important projects, and a persistent sense of being behind or overwhelmed. Irritability and conflicts frequently emerge when family members attempt to address problematic use patterns. Some adults find themselves tempted by unhealthy relationships with others through social media—whether emotional affairs, inappropriate connections, or comparisons with others’ seemingly perfect lives that breed dissatisfaction with their own circumstances. The boundary between innocent interaction and relationship-threatening behavior can become dangerously blurred.
• Adolescents: Understandably, adolescents face their own unique set of challenges with social media use. The developmental stage of adolescence, already fraught with identity formation and peer pressure, becomes exponentially more complex in the digital realm. Adolescent social media use can develop into cyberbullying—either as perpetrator or victim—with devastating emotional consequences that follow them from school into their homes. Late-night use is particularly common among teens, leading to serious sleep disturbances that affect cognitive function, emotional regulation, and physical health. This sleep deprivation often manifests as poor school performance, difficulty concentrating in class, and declining grades. Many parents report increased defiant behavior towards both parents and school teachers, as adolescents become secretive about their online activities, resist limits on device use, and prioritize their digital social life over real-world responsibilities and relationships.

Working with Parents to Regulate Adolescent Social Media Use

One of the most challenging aspects of adolescent social media use is the power struggle that often develops between parents and teens. Parents recognize the problem and want to set boundaries, but face fierce resistance, arguments, and increasingly creative attempts to circumvent rules. Therapy provides parents with effective strategies and support to navigate this difficult terrain.

In working with parents, we focus on developing clear, consistent, and enforceable guidelines that balance the adolescent’s developmental need for autonomy with appropriate parental oversight. This includes establishing specific time limits for social media use, designating device-free zones and times (such as during meals, homework, and after a set evening hour), and implementing technological solutions like parental controls and monitoring apps when necessary.

Overcoming resistance to parental rules requires a multi-faceted approach. We help parents understand that resistance is often rooted in the adolescent’s genuine sense of social connection and fear of missing out, making empathy and communication essential components of any successful strategy. Parents learn to present rules not as punitive measures, but as supportive structures designed to protect their child’s wellbeing, academic success, and healthy development.

Effective strategies include:

• Creating a family media agreement that involves the adolescent in rule-setting, increasing buy-in and compliance
• Using natural consequences rather than arbitrary punishments when rules are broken
• Modeling healthy social media use as parents, demonstrating the behaviors you want to see
• Offering incentives and privileges tied to responsible use rather than focusing solely on restrictions
• Maintaining open dialogue about online experiences, safety, and the difference between healthy and harmful content
• Picking battles wisely and focusing on the most critical boundaries rather than micromanaging every aspect of use
• Seeking to understand the positive aspects of your teen’s online social life while firmly addressing problematic patterns
• Staying calm and united as parents, avoiding power struggles that escalate into larger conflicts

Parents also benefit from understanding the psychological and neurological factors that make adolescents particularly vulnerable to social media’s addictive qualities. This knowledge helps them approach the situation with compassion rather than anger, even while maintaining firm boundaries. We work together to anticipate and plan for common scenarios—sneaking devices at night, using friends’ phones, creating secret accounts—so parents feel prepared rather than constantly caught off guard.

A Therapeutic Approach to Healthier Social Media Use

Therapy for social media-related concerns takes a practical, goal-oriented approach. Together, we begin by rationally defining what constitutes beneficial social media use for you personally. What genuine value does social media add to your life? What are your legitimate needs for connection, information, or professional networking? By clarifying these beneficial effects, we create a foundation for meaningful change.

From this foundation, we establish goal-oriented timetables for transitioning toward more positive use patterns. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and expecting dramatic transformation can set you up for disappointment. Instead, we work incrementally, setting realistic short-term goals that build toward your larger vision of healthy engagement.

Throughout the process, we regularly review your progress, celebrating successes and examining challenges without judgment. This ongoing assessment allows us to make appropriate adjustments to your goals and strategies, ensuring that your plan remains both effective and sustainable. Some adjustments might involve:

• Refining time limits or usage boundaries
• Identifying and addressing emotional triggers for excessive use
• Developing alternative coping strategies for stress, boredom, or loneliness
• Improving digital literacy and awareness of platform design tactics
• Building offline activities and relationships that provide fulfillment
• Addressing underlying issues such as anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem that may fuel problematic use

Moving Forward

The goal of therapy is not necessarily to eliminate social media from your life, but to help you develop a relationship with it that serves your wellbeing rather than detracts from it. You can learn to use these platforms intentionally, on your own terms, rather than feeling controlled by them. If you’re struggling with social media use and would like to explore how therapy can help you find better balance, I invite you to reach out. Call 410-970-4917 or email edgewaterpsychotherapy@gmail.com to schedule a consultation. Together, we can work toward a healthier, more intentional relationship with technology and social media.